Laura Llew’s Lovely List Of La La La
(hey, I didn’t want to ruin my alliteration)
HALLOWEEN COSTUME IDEAS:
5. Safety pin a couple of random socks and a dryer sheet or two to your shirt. Ta- Da: You are STATIC CLING. Minimal effort and yet you look clever.
4. This one I like because I get to bring my parasol because if you go as a DENNY’S CUSTOMER anything goes. Of course, it is hard to fake nicotine stained teeth. I was reading the Belle and Sebastian Top Ten Lists and someone listed Denny’s as a good place to people watch. They said, “My uncle once refused to go to Denny’s because it was not three A.M. and he wasn’t drunk. I think that says it all.” And I do too.
3. For the ladies: roll yourself in flour and go as a BATTERED WOMAN.
Ouch! Don’t hit me; It was Brier’s idea.
2. Dress up like a beauty queen except you’ll be the QUEEN OF BROCCOLI. A broccoli tiara, broccoli bouquet, and don’t forget – the broccoli in your teeth.
And Laura Llew’s Number One Suggestion For A Last Minute Halloween Costume is:
Go as a Mormon Missionary. When trick or treating, people will actually open the door! You refuse the candy but invite yourself in and talk about the church. Then you can say, “No thank you, Sir, you save the candy and I’ll save your soul.”
Now, I’m sure you are all wondering/downing the Prozac like Pop-Tarts in hopes that it will MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT ALL STOP/curious as to what I’m going as for Halloween. Despite the fact that I’ve been compared with Ally Sheedy two times in a very short time period, I will not be going as everyone’s favorite member of the Breakfast Club. I am going to be BRIER RANDOM. More specifically Brier in his picture on the get phreaky Sinister page:
Yes! I’m getting my hair cut and then am going to spend hours fixing it to have that “I haven’t brushed it yet” look. I’ll dress in all black and I’ve already been practicing on looking pouty and petulant. (What you think looking fashionably depressed is EASY?) I already have the halloween day conversations worked out in my head:
Prosaic Person: What are you dressed up as?
Me: *sighs and then languidly answers* I AM Brier Random.
Prosaic Person: What’s a Brier Random?
Me: “To be is to do.”
Prosaic Person: Huh?
Me: *Pointedly stares at them as if they’re an idiot and then sulks off to read Camus*
Oh, how I’m looking forward to it so! Don’t you wish you could be Brier too? Tough. You can’t. It was my idea first. However, you can wish the bashful Brier a happy birthday since today is the celebration of his day o’ birth. He’s a blushing beauty so I won’t reveal his age. (Though I’m told he is a thirsty one). I will attest to his greatness though. I saw on the Auction how he has a piece of his mail art for bid. I can tell you from personal experience that he is hilariously creative at that. (Plus, he has great lips.) However, I would be careful about stealing his ideas and using them as an art project for a stupid college class in fear that the teacher might call you ‘edgy’ and then you’ll have to knock down her stupid little display while explaining to her that you are quite EVEN TEMPERED thankyouverymuch.
Um, yes, HappyHappyBirthday to Brilliant Brier!
Happy Halloween to everyone!
‘Meeting all your Laura Llew needs since 1977’
PS – Literary Lisa (go Virginia Woolf! RAH!) from the Lisa & Lee duo told me that she had a literary party and one of her friends dressed up as Dorothy Parker – complete with a flask inside her beaded 20s purse! You know I was loving that idea.